


Space, the Final Frontier

by Enk



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drawing, M/M, NASA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-28
Updated: 2011-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 08:33:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enk/pseuds/Enk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>STS-135, the last shuttle flies to the International Space Station under the command of one James T. Kirk. Back on Earth, Leonard McCoy struggles with coming to terms with his layoff. Two very different men end up finding the very same thing in one very special last mission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Space, the Final Frontier

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any Star Trek related characters nor do I mean any disrespect to the brave men and women that STXI characters have replaced for the sake of this fic nor do I mean to imply any parallels between the lives of the characters and the actual people. Quotations with a (*) at the end were taken word for word from event transcripts.

 

**Flight Day 1**

 

“Atlantis, go at throttle up.”

 

“Roger, go at throttle up.”

 

They all take a breath and a moment for those lost at that very same moment less than three decades ago. It never gets easier hearing those words and no matter how much training they’ll undergo, they’ll always hold their breath for those few seconds.  Jim Kirk sends a silent prayer for that crew and glances over at his pilot who is letting out a breath. Jim smiles knowing that he is not alone.  The rest of the ascend is easy, the rocket boosters detach without fail and they ride the fuel tank until the edge of space, and then, they feel it, their weight lifting and darkness envelop them from above. _Space._

 

Jim switches his comm. channel. The world doesn’t need to hear the “fuck yeah!” and the jeering and howling. They’re not quite as dignified as STS-134. How could they be? James T. Kirk, Montgomery Scott, Gaila McIvern, and Jeff ‘Cupcake’ Miller were on NASA’s very last shuttle mission to the International Space Station. For the past week, they’d been hounded by the press, questions upon questions and followed a strict protocol to answer them, professionally. Mentioning the Bush era and the fuckery it caused for NASA, no go; mentioning budget cuts, no go; Mars, absolutely no go, and by the end, they just put Jim at the end of the interviewing queue because he supposedly had problems adhering to protocol.

 

Now, they were here and now none of that shit mattered. They were in space and when Montgomery burns the thrusters, Jim feels himself settle: he’s going home.  And just like that, everything in the past seems far, far away.  All the instruments read nominal and when Atlantis settles on in her orbit, the length of the day finally settles into their bones. Jim is the first to yawn and Gaila laughs and calls him an old man off-comm. Then it’s time for the evening meal, which is spent with mostly quiet conversation. They’re all glad to be here, but they all know, this will be the final time.

 

When the rest of the crew make their way to the mid-deck, Jim quietly ascends back into the command chair to sleep. Not just because he wants to be ready and there whenever he may be needed, but it also has the most fucking amazing view.  Jim straps himself in. Sleeping in space, existing in space, really, it was strange as fuck, but so familiar, so perfect and Jim never wants to leave. He leans into the chair as much as he can and looks out onto the world.

 

**Flight Day 2**

 

Leonard leans against a wall far from any doors at the Johnson Space Center, looking out onto the parking lot rather than the park. It’s bad enough people judge him every time they see a pack of smokes near him; he doesn’t need it while he’s enjoying his nicotine fix. Of course he knows he’s gonna die of lung cancer. That’s the reason he quit almost two decades ago to begin with.  He doesn’t need everyone to remind him and by God if another “Help You Quit” pamphlet makes its way on his desk again, he’s gonna smoke that too.

 

“You know you shouldn’t smoke.”

He’s about to retort with a snide remark when he sees it’s just Pavel Chekov, the almost Russian wiz-kid from the back rooms lighting up not three feet away from him. Leonard’s not sure what his deal is, Russian parents, born in Chicago the kid puts on an accent convincing enough to fool people into thinking he’s freshly landed on these Western shores. Leonard figures he gets some sick pleasure from playing mind games with people’s assumptions, and he kind of admires that.

 

“Pretty good first day, no?” Pavel smiles like a fucking keener and Leonard really doesn’t want to deal with how bright it makes the kid’s eyes.  

 

"Almost thought Kennedy wouldn't get her off the ground." He gruffs and takes a drag. He's too old for the shit Atlantis pulls.

 

"Emergency hold thirty seconds before launch, I bet they shat their pants." Pavel chuckles like he's made some hilarious inside joke. "She's got a flair for the dramatic."

 

She does. Atlantis was always his favourite shuttle. Like a true Southern Lady, she had sass and attitude but in the end, she always came through, and in two weeks, she would land for the last time, and then this all was over. Then, Leonard was out of a job, out of a life. After thirty-five years with NASA, what do you do? He's closer to sixty than he wants to imagine. He's about to have another god damned grandchild. Everything in his life tells him that he should be sucking it up and moving on, looking forward to spoiling his grandkids, sitting in a god forsaken rocking chair and sipping lemonade before having dinner at four. Shit, when did he get this old?

 

"You have no idea." He finally replies, because Pavel doesn't, and not just about Atlantis. Kid's not even thirty yet, smart as fuck, but he has no idea about the shit life throws you. The sudden taste of awful fills his mouth and he frowns at the filter he's begun smoking. He resists the urge to just flick the butt onto the walkway, because what are they gonna do? Fire him? Hah. He extinguishes on the concrete wall behind him instead and tosses it into the garbage beside the entrance. "Back to work."

 

When he walks back inside, he can feel Pavel's eyes on him, feel the expectations. He should have never, never allowed himself to be so taken with the kid, never should have maintained a friendship, and he really never should have slept with him.

 

**Flight Day 3**

 

Day Two comes and goes in a blur of images taken of Atlantis' heat shield. It's Day Three Jim is excited about: docking. Not only that, but finally they get to see their friends again, united up in space. There was nothing better. He knows Janice, Shannon, and Hikaru are halfway done their mission on the station and he considers himself lucky to share space with Hikaru, to see him again. He smiles. They'd met during training in the coldest Russian Tundra and since then, their life had been a series of chance encounters along their careers. Over ten years they'd known each other, ten years and neither of them had admitted that-

 

"Atlantis, Houston, Jim can you switch to comm three?" Leonard's voice is gruff and he sounds annoyed. Usually, they'd banter for a while on open comm, but Jim knows when to rib and when to be the mission commander. So, he switches to comm three.

 

"What's up, Bones?" Even though Leonard no longer flies, Jim still refers to him by call-sign.

 

"Nothing actual yet, but we've got preliminary concerns about some space junk heading your way."

 

"Vicinity or collision?" Jim frowns. This was putting a damper on a so-far picture perfect mission.

 

"Vicinity only. It's being tracked and trajectory calculated. An old Russian satellite, looks like it will be a little close for comfort by tomorrow, but we'll keep you updated."

"You're telling me before it's public, aren't you."

 

"They want to wait, don't want to worry the astronauts, you know how it is. But I'm not keeping my mouth shut if it's something that you may have to deal with."

 

"Thanks, man. I appreciate it, you know I do." Jim really does. It's not a small thing, moving to safety in space, hoping that the thruster maneuvers were enough to avoid a piece of space junk. Junk out here was anything from the size of a washer to the size of a school bus. That was stuff you just don't want near a space station. "I'll comm Uhura to let her know and to keep it quiet."

 

Jim only feels a little bad about lying to Leonard about letting Nyota know. It's for the best, really. Out here, everything was a sequence of well-rehearsed steps and no matter how Leonard felt personally, unless the decision was made to inform both crews; it was a non-event. Jim still has faith in the system, even after everything that has happened. Now, they have a ship to dock while millions, well maybe thousands, of people watched them, filled with excitement and melancholy over the passing of an era.

 

"Hey Jim," Hikaru calls over the comm in the middle of the docking procedure, "if I didn't know any better, I'd think your ship is giving me sass."

 

"She likes to show off her assets, what can I say? And with a ship this beautiful, can you really blame her?" Jim looks out of the window, the station obscured by Atlantis' wing, but he knows on the other side, there is Hikaru watching his back.

 

"Absolutely not, and you're really looking good. We've sent a few gigs down. I think it's time to come home."

 

 _Home_. Because that's what space is to them. Home.

The docking procedure is a little bit picture-book and a little bit perfect and Jim feels a little bit proud when he hears Montgomery over the comm.

 

"Houston, station, Atlantis, capture confirmed and we see free drift.*"

 

The station bell sounds, and even though they are in space, some traditions keep deep and true and Jim feels the hairs on his neck and arms stand up at the sound.

 

"Atlantis arriving." Hikaru's voice follows the bell. "Welcome to the International Space Station for the last time.*"

 

From the corner of his eyes, Jim sees Gaila wiping her eyes with her sleeve. He can feel something in his gut tighten for a few moments, but then he is distracted by leak checks that need to be done. Uniforms that need to be dug out and worn. And ultimately, a shit ton of stuff that needs to be moved.

 

"Are we up for this?" He whispers almost silently, but Montgomery turns his head and smiles.

 

"Want me to turn her back around?"

 

"I don't think she'll let you. She's going to make the most out of this before she's going to let us back down."

 

Leak checks are a series of reading gauges so dull and boring that once Jim is about to open that hatch, Gaila behind him with a camera, he feels excited just to be out of the shuttle, to visit the station, a new and exciting place he has heard so much about from Gaila. He takes a breath and pushes through the hatch, floating quietly for a moment before he is greeted by cheers and hellos and welcomes. Everyone hugs and kisses cheeks and touches and slaps shoulders. Astronauts (and Cosmonauts for that matter) are touchy-feely folk. You had to be. In space, you needed to know Human companionship was real. Hikaru hugs him, too, and Jim is surprised to feel his heart palpitate for a second as his mouth goes completely dry.

 

 

**Flight Day 5**

 

"Hey, are you okay?" Pavel appears behind Leonard in the single-stall men's bathroom far out of everyone’s path.

 

"Kid, you gotta stop following me everywhere." Leonard washes his hands thoroughly and splashes water in his face. He is surprised at the tired face in the mirror: hair more salt than pepper, lines around his eyes and mouth, bags underneath his eyes, skin loose at the jawline... He closes his eyes.

 

  _"To Columbia, here is Houston; we see your tyre pressure messages and we did not copy your last message.*"_

_  
_

_Communication had been pretty high on static today._

_  
_

_"Roger, bu-*"_

_  
_

_Communication had been pretty high on static. Probably just bad a bad connection._

_  
_

_"Columbia, Houston, comm check.*"_

_  
_

_The voices behind Leonard worked calmly through a long list of contingencies._

_  
_

_"Columbia, Houston, UHF comm check.*"_

_  
_

_Sometimes, communications get knocked out or misrouted to another channel._

_  
_

_"Columbia, Houston, UHF comm check.*"_

_  
_

_The static hangs in the air._

_  
_

_"Columbia, Houston, UHF comm check.*"_

_  
_

_He's not sure how many times more he repeats those words into the ether, but he stopped believing they'll get a response. He’s not perfectly certain until he hears Cain’s voice:_

_  
_

_"And folks, listen up again on the flight loop, no, no phone calls off site, outside of this room, our discussions are on these loops on the recorded DVS loops only. No data, no phone calls, no transmissions anywhere into or out.*"_

_  
_

_Something had gone horribly, horribly wrong._

 

"Then stop avoiding me." Pavel leans against the sink. "The closer we've come to flight, the farther you've been away. Now we're in flight, you're completely ignoring me."

 

"Look here kid!" Leonard isn't really angry at Pavel, he is angry at all the baggage he's been dragging around: divorce; exit from the astronaut program because of his minor stint with alcoholism; one shuttle tragedy as an underling, one as capcom; Obama's announcement to end the NASA program; backtracking on said announcement and 'merely' ending the shuttle program... to make way for better things, for better people, for kids like Pavel. Because he is old. Because he is a fossil. Because he needs to be replaced by a better model. "This, whatever you think this is, it's not. It was a mistake. Nothing else was ever going to happen."

 

"Leonard." Pavel's features soften in a way that make him look even younger than he already is. He looks concerned and Leonard doesn't care.

 

"I'm not- I'm not gay, kid. All right?"

 

"And it's a problem because I am?"

 

"What? No! The problem is that we had sex."

 

"And you didn't like it?"

 

"And you are younger than my eldest daughter!" Leonard flails his hands a little undignified. "I'm going to be sixty, by the time you finally make your way to thirty. That's a generation between us!"

 

"You knew that before we had sex." Pavel doesn't move.

 

"It just- it meant nothing to me. It obviously did to you, and I'm sorry if I led you on, but there is nothing between us." How could it be this hard for Pavel to understand, to get that Leonard means it.

"So... you're breaking up with me?"

 

"Yes." Wait a second. "No! I- there never was anything that could be broken up! We were not dating!" He can feel the blood rush to his face. Damn it, he's five years from retirement, he doesn't need to blush like a fucking school girl.

 

"I see." Pavel looks at his feet and Leonard feels like shit. Seeing him this crushed shouldn't make him feel like this, shouldn't make him want to pull Pavel close and tell him everything would be okay.

 

"Besides kid," he pats Pavel's shoulder, "wouldn't you feel much better with a hot guy your own age instead of a senior citizen who won't be able to get it up in a couple of years? Someone with a little less baggage?"

 

Pavel rolls his eyes and moves away from the counter.

 

"First of, stop calling me 'kid'. It's not cute. It makes you sound like you're about to chase some children off your lawn with a cane and like I'm just barely post-pubescent. Secondly, I'm almost thirty, I graduated from MIT when I was 17. I work for NASA because I love exploration and science. And I really like you because you are so honest and blunt that it makes people uncomfortable. You don't judge people based on superficial shit, you judge them by their behaviour. That and you're really hot for a guy your age."

 

"But I'm not gay." Leonard's voice is very quiet. "It was just an in-the-moment attraction."

 

"Really?" Pavel slowly takes off his suit jacket. The purple shirt underneath is tailored perfectly making him look so, so good. "Really." Leonard nods as Pavel loosens the knot of his tie and pulls it over his head.

 

"Yeah." Leonard's mouth is dry. He really needs to leave.

 

"Okay." Pavel says, unbuttoning the first third of his shirt. "Then don't come over here and kiss me right now."

 

Leonard vaguely recalls pushing the lock button on the doorknob before crossing the distance between them.

 

**  
**

**Flight Day 7**

 

Time off with live streaming cameras isn’t really time off. Jim concludes when all of them manage to squeeze themselves into a corner for a group picture, Gaila floating serene above them. Clearly, it's a cheesy attempt to utilize patriotism to get an entire nation excited for space travel again.  That's fine, and Jim will smile and laugh and keep things PG because he works for the government and everyone is watching him. But he really does think they ought to not call it 'off-duty' on the roster.

 

Dinner is pretty tasty, as tasty as space food ever can be. Jim wants to be reserved. He's the STS-135 mission commander after all. The last commander to bring a shuttle to space. Though, the thing about astronauts, and the thing about Jim, is that he is too excited about how awesome space is. And really, everyone should backflip for chocolate covered almonds on a regular basis, or float forks in space, or steal glances at the hot Expedition 27/28 flight engineer. He catches himself, because he probably shouldn't while cameras are on. And when the even concludes, he helps clean up and excuses himself, floating with his eyes closed through the station. They've been in space for a week, and it's feeling more and more like this is how everything should be. He only has to peek twice before he finds his way to the cupola. While everyone else is still social, he floats quietly in front of the windows, watching the Earth pass by.

 

Everything becomes much clearer from this perspective.  Not just the reality of how fragile the planet is, but everything else, too. This is the first real off-duty time he has had this mission and he feels tired, excited, happy but tired. And if he's honest, he's kind of scared, too. This is his third flight. He's in his 40s now. It may very well be his last... and those thoughts, they tighten the knot in his gut further. He wants to so badly believe that this isn't the end, that greater and bigger things will come from this, but it's terrifying to know that they may not happen while he's alive.

 

"Hey..." Hikaru's voice comes from above him. "Got room for one more?"

 

"It'll be pretty cozy, hope you washed." Jim chuckles and pulls in his legs to give Hikaru room.

 

"This is my favourite spot up here." Hikaru looks down on the planet. "I'm going to miss it."

 

"You still have a couple of months left before that happens, though." Jim smiles. "Lucky bastard."

 

"I think I could stay here forever if I had to pick." Hikaru looks at Jim who feels that dry mouth again.

 

"The mission has been so busy." Jim looks up into the station. "Man, you've got a lot of shit to put away!" They laugh, and an ease falls over them that they missed. They've known each other for so long and no matter how much time passes between when they actually do get to see each other, they immediately fall back into the same comfort they had before. They talk about Hikaru's sisters, the food they miss, what will happen once they get back to Earth. Jim remembers that this is what he wants to continue every time life keeps them from being in contact as much as they want to be.

 

"I'm going to miss her." Jim tilts his head to look at Atlantis.

 

"Have you thought about training to come up here?"

 

"I've thought about many things." Jim sighs. Retirement was one of them. Heck, they probably needed some ex-astronaut flight engineer somewhere. "We should grab some beers when you get back."

 

"We should." There's an odd silence. Something Jim isn't used to, and really, they haven't had much time in silence at all. Hikaru is right there across from him and Jim is feeling strange, conflicting things.

 

"I don't want to ruin our friendship." Hikaru suddenly blurts out.

 

"What?" Jim is confused because that doesn't seem possible to him.

 

"I don't want to ruin our friendship." How did he get this close? "And I should wait until we're both back on Earth." Hikaru smiles a little weak. "But I can't."

 

Jim doesn't expect their lips to touch quite so quickly. Truth be told, he doesn't expect any kissing, but then Hikaru's mouth is on his, hot and wet and he tastes exactly how Jim always imagined. He can't describe how he feels, can't muster rational thought. All he wants is closer contact, touching, losing himself with Hikaru so far above the Earth. He kisses back needy and slow and deep, a hand buried in Hikaru's hair, the other holding him close by his slacks. The noise of crewmates drives them apart, but both of them are smiling.

 

"When we're back on Earth, we have to talk." Hikaru looks at Jim and steals a soft touch.

 

Jim nods, but for now, they simply find a more secluded place inside the shuttle's second deck to spend the rest of the day entangled in a kiss. When their sleep period starts, Hikaru quietly floats back to the station, passing Gaila who winks at him like she knows. Jim sleeps excellent that night until he is awakened by the alarm of a failed computer system.

 

"Baby," he strokes Atlantis' consoles as he's walked through a by-pass by ground control, "I didn't know you were the jealous type."

 

 

**Post-flight  Day 28**

 

Leonard awakes to the sound of clicking keys.  He’s not sure what time it is, but since he has been dismissed from Mission Control for the final time, he hasn’t had a lot of reason to get out of bed early. He used to dread these days with a passion ever since the announcement had been made. At one of his lowest points, he had considered taking a shotgun to his face, but now, maybe it wasn't so bad. He yawns and turns to see Pavel sitting up on, half under the covers, typing on his laptop. Leonard smiles.

 

"Mornin'," he smiles and forces himself to sit up and stretch. "Time is it?"

 

"Just before noon." Pavel looks over. "Sleep well?"

 

"Mhm." He stretches again, and yeah, yeah he did. It's actually kind of awesome, early governmental retirement. He misses Mission Control more than he cares to admit, but he's been two weeks without cigarettes and that's gotta be saying something. He pulls himself up to his knees and lean-drapes himself over Pavel, pulling him close. "Smell good. What're you working on?"

 

"Application." Pavel just says and continues typing.

 

"For what?"

 

"Something for you to do when you get tired of sucking my dick every night."

 

"Classy." Leonard reaches to tilt the computer. "SpaceX?"

 

 

"Only ones to successfully launch and return a capsule. And you need something to do other than, well..." He trails off when he feels Leonard's erection pressing against his back. "Nevermind, we can talk about this later." He turns around and pulls Leonard on top of him.

 

"Thank you." Leonard kisses him and smiles. Pavel tilts his head slightly, but before he can say anything, Leonard continues. "For saving me from myself."

 

Pavel doesn't say anything in return. He just smiles and tilts his head up to meet Leonard's lips with a kiss.

 

 

**Somewhere in Kazakhstan, September 2011**

**  
**

Hikaru feels a little dazed, maybe a little bit worse for wear, but man that had been the best fucking rollercoaster he’s ever had the pleasure to ride. He closes his eyes to drink in the sun, to feel its warmth, to breathe the crisp air. Everything feels kind of heavy, and yeah, the atmosphere is a bitch and so is gravity. He talks to his sister on the phone (‘I’m alive, gonna take a nap now, love you, bye’), is fed some odd drink that tastes like liquid oatmeal and when the medics deem him well enough, he’s carried to the medical tent.

 

He’s never been in a tent that has inflatable rooms before, but here he was, poked and prodded until he’s finally left to rest while doctors attend to his crew mates. It all feels kind of surreal now, like floating in space was just a faint dream when it was reality just a few hours ago. It’s going to be rough to acclimatize, he knows it. The first few weeks were always the worst, but he regrets nothing. The only thing he’d hoped would have been different was to have more time to talk to Jim as he went through the same thing Hikaru will be going through soon enough.

 

” _< Would you like some water?>_"A male nurse asks in pretty awful Russian.

 

“Astronaut,” Hikaru waves oddly, “it’s okay, I speak English.”

 

“I know.” There’s a sudden weight on Hikaru’s inflatable bed in this inflatable room in an inflatable tent and he’s pretty sure he’s hearing Jim’s voice and starts to laugh.

 

“Fuck, either they gave me the good shit, or you’re gonna be in so much fucking trouble.”

 

“I pulled some strings.” Jim grins at him under a giant ushanka.  “Besides, totally worth it.” He takes Hikaru’s hand and smiles. “Couldn’t have waited longer to talk.”

 

“You’re impossible, Jim Kirk, impossible.” Hikaru laughs and all he wants to do right now is pull Jim down into a kiss, but there are too many people around. They save that for when they return to Star City and Hikaru can shut the door to his room behind them.

 

End.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
